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Showing posts from November, 2021

I CAUSED THE TEXAS FREEZE

 I hear knocking and open my door to see Raggedy Ann or should I say Raggedy Kathy, my neighbor.  Her hands are on her hips. “The apartment on the first floor that is directly underneath yours is leaking through the ceiling.” “That’s terrible.” What else am I supposed to say? And the first floor is not directly beneath the third. The second floor is in between first and third. Two-year-old kids can count to three after all. Everyone can, except my neighbor, Kathy, apparently. “The pipes probably broke due to the freeze. Did they call maintenance?” Her face looks wider and shorter, with jaw jutting, nostrils flaring, eyes squinting, and brows pulled together. “You need to stop whatever you’re doing,” she says in a rumbling bulldozer tone. “You flooded his apartment. Stop it.” I’m speechless as my ears catch up with my brain. I swallow hard and open my mouth. “That’s impossible. The pipes are frozen. No one in the building has water. The toilets aren’t flushing --” Her bulldozer voice ru

THE GREAT TOILET PAPER FIRE

We need toilet paper. None of the stores have any. When you find some, you hoard it. Looks like I’m going to run out of it soon. On my last three orders the stores I use didn’t have any. A major grocery chain in Texas is offering free deliveries to the elderly during the pandemic. Seniors only have to pay a $10 tip to the driver. Except a charity is covering the tip, so it’s actually a totally free delivery for us. But, since my email is entered wrong in their system, I have to order by phone instead of online. I tell the volunteer order-taker, “I know they probably won’t have it but put down toilet paper. Any size—any kind is fine.” “Toilet paper is hard right now.” She stretches out some of her vowels with the soft back of the mouth sounds of a Texas drawl. “Did  ya  hear what happened to that eighteen-wheeler on its way to Houston?” “No, I don’t watch the news much right now.” “A diesel truck hauling toilet paper to Houston caught fire on the highway.” Her voice lifted in excitement